


The Perfect Gift

by Crows_Imagine



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, it's not a sex toy but Naughty, the gift in question is something naughty so fair warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21896005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crows_Imagine/pseuds/Crows_Imagine
Summary: Kuroo and Tendou have troubling deciding who gets a particular gift.
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi, Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 19
Kudos: 71





	The Perfect Gift

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Ama and Lys for reading over this. Ama also helped me narrow down my idea, so another thanks for that! Also one friend suggest "Kuroneko" for a nickname and then Chels suggested "Tetsutetsu" so thanks to them hehe
> 
> This is written for two awesome people and I hope they really enjoy it! (you know who you are, haha)

From the moment Tendou lays eyes on the gift, he knows it’s perfect. Ushijima isn’t always the best with gifts, meaning he lets Tendou take the reins. And oh boy, did he ever.

Tendou knows immediately where to go shopping. Ushijima’s coworker Kageyama recently got engaged to Little Shrimpy, aka Hinata Shouyou.

“Perfect timing, because they’ll be at Shirabu’s holiday party,” Tendou says.

“How does Shirabu know them?”

“Because Shiraboo-boo is dating Ennoshita and he went to Karasuno, remember?”

“Oh, yes,” Ushijima recalls. “He was Karasuno’s captain when Shirabu was captain. No wonder at the practice match where we stopped by, Shirabu was flustered. I assumed it was because all his senpai were there.”

“Ah, the flattery is strong with this one!” Tendou laughs, swinging his arms.

“Is that another movie reference?”

“Yes, Wakatoshi. We need to watch  _ Star Wars _ again!”

“If you say so.”

They wander across the store, eyeing all the potential good gifts. A few items were decent, but nothing stood out to them.

“I thought you said you had a gift in mind,” Ushijima comments, looking at a very festive llama plushie. He gently taps the snout and jumps back when the stuffed animal spurts out a loud, high-pitched version of “Jingle Bells.”

“I have an idea,” Tendou clarifies. “I know that when I see it, the gift will speak to me.”

“Speak like that cursed llama?” Ushijima shudders, as if the mere memory of the event from thirty seconds ago is dreadful to recall.

“Even better than that cursed llama!” Tendou promises. “Let’s check out this aisle.”

Little did they know that another familiar pair was across the store floor.

“Are we almost done?” Kuroo whines, slumping on Daichi’s back.

Daichi pays no heed to him as he looks on his list. “We’ve gotten gifts for everyone except… no, we got a host gift, our White Elephant gift, stuff for all the guests… Oh!” He points at the paper list, because he’s old-fashioned and wrote it down physically as opposed to the notes app on his phone. “We need to get Kageyama and Hinata a gift. They’re engaged, you saw that online, right? I sent you the post.” Daichi pauses, hand under his chin. “I think,” he murmurs. “I never can tell with these sites.”

“Somehow you did, which surprised me as you’re an old man when it comes to social media,” Kuroo remarks.

Daichi gives him an unimpressed look. “I’m ignoring that. Hinata and Kageyama are the only ones we haven’t gotten a gift for yet. What are you thinking?”

“I’m not sure,” Kuroo says, gently nudging Daichi away and stirring the cart.

“Something for their kitchen?” Daichi suggests. “I’m not picky. Only that it’s something useful.”

Kuroo hums. “What about a panini maker?” he suggests as they turn from the sheets and pillow section.

“What is with you and paninis?” Daichi laughs heartily. “You’re so weird.”

“They’re really good!” Kuroo insists.

“They’re not any more amazing than any other sandwich to exist,” Daichi says with a roll of his eyes. “You like them too much.”

“I’m ignoring that,” Kuroo says, repeating Daichi’s words back to him.

“Touché.”

“…Toochie.”

“You need to stop,” Daichi says, though Kuroo can see him trying not to smile.

“I’m that great, can you blame me, Sa’mura,” Kuroo says, turning his head as they walk into the kitchen section. “Wait— Daichi, I found it.”

“Found out?”

“Found the perfect gift,” Kuroo says in awe. “Follow me!”

“I can already tell this is a bad idea,” Daichi mutters under his breath. He follows Kuroo, muttering about how maybe it won’t be that bad.

“Oh no,” Daichi says when he figures out which box Kuroo is headed to. “It is that bad. It’s worse than bad.”

Kuroo lays his hand on the box the same second another hand rests on it. He glances over and does a double-take. “Tendou?”

“Oh, Kuroneko!” There’s that annoying nickname the redhead always calls him.

Kuroo grits his teeth. “Hello, Tendou.”

“Soooooo~ you saw this pretty cool gift, huh?” Tendou slaps the top of box as if he’s a car salesman trying to sell the old junker in the lot that’s been there for longer than he’s worked there.

“Yeah, and we’re getting it,” Kuroo says. “If you’ll ever so kindly remove your hand, we’ll be on our merry way.” He tries to slide it off the shelf.

“Not so fast, buddy.” Tendou tightens his grip on the box, keeping it in place. “I think I saw it first.”

“Both of your hands landed on it at the exact same time,” Ushijima pipes up.

Daichi nods. “That’s true.”

Kuroo turns to Daichi. “You’re not helping my case!” he whines; he only receives an eye roll in return.

“No Wakatoshi, say I touched it first!” Tendou complains.

“But you both did at the same time?”

“Wakatoshiiiiii~”

“We can find something else, Tetsurou,” Daichi says, though he may only be saying that so he doesn’t have to look the cashier in the eye when they purchase the item. “Even a panini maker!”

“No, the panini maker missed its chance,” Kuroo insists, determination flashing across his face. “This is the perfect gift. And we’re getting it because we saw it first!”

“No, we’re getting it!” Tendou holds the box top so hard that his nails scratch the top. "Not you, Tetsutetsu!"  


“Well, well, well! What did the cat drag in? Two eagles and a crow!” Oikawa cackles to himself.

“You’re not that funny, babe,” Suga says, giving a look as he drinks his boba tea. “Didn’t finish your shopping yet? Lame.”

Daich rolls his eyes. “Thank you, Suga.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Asa-chan likes my jokes!” Oikawa retorts to Suga before turning to Asahi. “Don’t you, Asa-chan?”

“Yeah, don’t you?” Suga chuckles, not unkindly.

“…Yeah.” Asahi dodges Oikawa’s piercing look of curiosity by turning to Daichi. “What are you guys doing? Last minute Christmas shopping?”

“Yeah, and these two,” Daichi says, jabbing a thumb in Kuroo and Tendou’s direction, “Want that atrocious gift for Kageyama and Hinata.”

Asahi examines the gift, eyes going wide as he realizes what it is. “That’s… unique, for sure.”

“I’d use it,” Suga says. “It’s lovely.”

“I’m not surprised you think so,” Daichi says. Suga winks.

“We’re not finished with our shopping either, who do we have left?” Asahi asks Oikawa, who gets out his phone.

“Uh, Bokuto, Mattsun, Makki, Tobio-chan and Hinata!” he reports before pausing. “….Get the box, it’s perfect for Tobio-chan and Hinata.”

“What?”

“Fine, I’ll do it!” Oikawa leaps forward and grabs the box from Kuroo and Tendou’s clasps. “Suga-chan, Asahi-chan, meet me at the register!”

Asahi is startled, but quickly runs after Oikawa. Suga takes a moment to follow them as he’s laughing so hard, he doubles over.

Tendou and Kuroo stare in disbelief. “How fucking  _ dare _ they?”

Daichi and Ushijima share a look, both secretly relieved at how this showdown turned out.

“At least the same people will get the gifts,” Ushijima points out as Tendou and Kuroo slowly shake off their shock.

“We should finish shopping,” Daichi says, patting Kuroo’s back.

He won’t lie and say he’s not shocked though. He still is incredulous as they walk through the parking lot hours later, all their shopping finally finished. “Do you really think Kageyama and Hinata will like a waffle maker that makes dick-shaped waffles?”

“Who wouldn’t love it?” Kuroo sighs. “Those lucky bastards…”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this is a waffle maker that does exist... truly.


End file.
